How easy it seems to feel careless and free when a new love comes into our lives. Spring has finally sprung on us. The birds are singing a song we’ve never heard before. A new meaning of life is unleashed. We are now excited and driven with our newly found energy.
The once daunting task of hiding and protecting our heart becomes obsolete and we are oblivious as to why we ever felt we needed to hold back from the world in the first place…..
The question then remains… How can we take the lessons we have learned from exposing to much of our hearts and put it to use in our newly found happiness? How can we take the hurt from the past and turn it into something positive? How much should we hold back?
Is it really fare to our new love not to share everything in order for them to truly know the real person that we are. In what situation can “safe” be safe enough when “safe” has left you vulnerable and hurt over and over again?
Given the lessons we have learned about giving our heart to an undeserving person, should we, or could we, ever give our heart out again?
Nice writing! Keep up the good work!
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Thank you Greg.
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Well said!
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Thank you Dave.
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Attaining true love demands those seeking it to understand the vital role mutual vulnerability plays in assuring a strong, enduring relationship. Should either individual fail to recognize this and remain on-guard to any degree in the relationship it is all but doomed, if not literally, then certainly in spirit. The real issue, as you yourself indicate, Jen, is submitting – showing one’s vulnerability – to an “undeserving person”. This unworthy individual will surely destroy you with it.
So the real question becomes, who is the “deserving person”? Of course there is no patent answer to this question. We are all somewhat different in our interests, desires and the physical characteristics we find attractive in a potential mate. Certain other qualities, however, are universal and essential to a thriving, long-term love. Beyond the relatively simple, but all-too-often overpowering initial biologic attraction between individuals – while undeniably important – the “deserving person” must exhibit an appreciation and consideration of, respect for, kindness toward, and honesty and loyalty with their partner. These are the underpinnings of an enduring, loving relationship. Sadly, the importance of these qualities is too commonly overlooked, marginalized and/or rationalized away in favor of raw biology or material interests, or is minimized as a result of the pathologies regularly plaguing the psyches of too many of us.
True love requires the prostration of oneself before another. Walking naked in the cage of a hungry lion – while foolish – will guaranty a speedy result. You will either be kitty food, or you will have forged a loyal, lifelong friendship. The latter, while far less common, will leave you with nothing to ever again fear. So too, by bearing your soul to a potential love, you will soon either face terminal betrayal, or stand at the gates of the greatest love imaginable. In my book there is no other way.
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Well said Frank. Relationships tend to mimic that of the Tango. When performed well,there is an even amount of push and pull. Tease and be teased. At times there may be an occasional miss or stumble. When the song comes to an end and you can walk hand in hand off the dance floor then you may have found yourself a partner, if not,the tip of a hat and a smile may keep you on the dance card.
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